Each and every drama teacher I have experienced has had a profound effect on my life. Their knowledge was learnt from their Master and they in turn became Masters themselves, each teacher expanding, building and sharing. Each and every one has influenced my acting, directing and teaching; I was lucky enough to learn from some of the best in the world!
I would like to pay homage to each and every theatre teacher, as a form of appreciation, respect and to record memories while I still can remember!
Professor Artaud Lover/ 1986
Sally Bowles was the part I wanted. I loved that movie.
That part, that chance to show my skills, to prove I was good. Finally ..play a lead! At the ripe old age of 16 I had only been in a few school plays, playing chorus roles and one supporting role. Ok so I couldn't dance, I sang ok BUT I could act that part so well! (for a16 year old)...I knew I could.
So off I went to the auditions at Loreto Sixth Form College’s production of Cabaret. Song prepared, dressed as though I looked like I could dance. I entered the theatre nervous as I saw my two drama professors. Their names escape me but both their teachings are interwoven into my theatre practice today. They couldn't be more different, one cheerful, perhaps gay, passionate about all aspects of theatre especially musicals, the other morose, introspective, loved Artaud and Fo. I respected both of them so much but was frightened of the Artaud Lover, who I felt never once glanced my way during our drama lessons. I was hopeful he would notice me at this audition as he sat alongside his all knowing and all important team.
I sang my heart out but it felt forced and hard work. There was silence. I could read the words of the silence ..“You are not good enough for Sally”. Finally one of them curtly said “Thank you”. I think I put my head down, muttered thank you and was about to leave when Mr Artaud Lover who seemed not to glance up from his table through the whole audition said I think she should try for the Emcee. The team sniggered as they rolled back in their seats, throwing their pens down as if they were disgusted at his suggestion. He ignored them, leaned forward, rubbed his beard, looked intensely at me.
“Do you know his songs?”
I was in deep conflict. I was finally noticed by the Master but not what I wanted to be noticed for. I knew the songs but should I say I don't as a sulk at his suggestion which everyone seemed to think was ludicrous. And why is that ridiculous to them? Because I'm so bad I couldn't possibly play a lead or because I'm a girl? What does he see in me that has prompted this suggestion?
“Yes…Yes, I do”
“I thought so. Could you please sing one of them now in character.”
I glanced at the piano player “I know Willkommen..?” He smiled, flicked to the page and nodded his head.
Silence again. All eyes on me but this time it felt like they were looking to see whether a rabbit was going to jump out of a hat.
I began to sing... “Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!” .. my imagination opened. I was standing in the Kit Kat club. It was 1930’s Berlin. I was a German performer, somehow with a new sexual freedom and a sardonic sense of humor for my age.. and I was having the time of my life!! As the french say, I was in full déconne. Not caring what others thought only dancing in my imagination, playing with my character and acting from my soul. I stopped abruptly, coming out of what seemed to be a trance….“I'm sorry I don't remember the rest..”
Smiles, applauding and nods is what came next. What just happened??
I got the part, my first lead. I received great acclaim for my performance which resulted in my decision that I was good enough to go to drama school and carve out a professional acting career for myself.
This professor saw the artist in me that I did not see in myself. I could have been dismissed. I could have chosen another path right there and then. However he understood my spirit, what pushed my creative buttons to let those creative juices flow. He understood that I would never be a Sally Bowles and needed to understand this myself. He understood that I was fantastical in the right role and that this knowledge would serve me for the rest of my life. He saw the potential that nobody else could see. He was an authentic and brilliant artist and educator.
I now pass this knowledge onto my acting students. Become good at everything, train in which form of the arts you wish to do, gain knowledge and skills. But the most important thing is to PLAY. It will undoubtedly bring you success. Enjoy your imagination. Choose the roles where you can be most free and let go, play with your spirit. It will bring joy to others. As an educator I aim to look deeper in my students for the potential, to look for what is inside that can be drawn out and flourished to brilliance.
Thank you Master! I wish I could remember your name but your work lives in me and will in others forever.
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